GIRL T@LK: 7!!

Hey guys, i've clearly not been getting on here a lot, and i apologize (again) i'm suuper busy. But LA is getting so much better. I started acting school, (which is AMAZING!!!!) it makes me feel like i have a purpose. Going to school for something you love is the best thing i've ever done. I know there is a lot of pressure to go to college etc. which is right for SOME people, but in this case acting was the right path for me to take. I get this feeling while i'm learning about it or doing it or performing that i don't get from anything else and to be honest i could not be happier! Anywayyy on to the questions! Please keep sending them and i'll keep answering (as much and as often as i can!!) i love love talking to you all, and when i do post a new blog i will also post a bulletin on myspace to let you know (and if you email me i'll tell you when a new blog is up) okay! love youuu all.
oh and PS i think there is 1 question that i didn't answer;.. and i don't remember which one it is, it is a comment on the blog and i loose track of those- so if i failed to answer your question feel free to email it to me, or repost it on the newest blog (email is best!!!!!)

Part time lovers:
So, this guy and i have been dating for around two years, and things were going great. We had tons of fun, kept our space when needed, our sex life was wonderful, and we supported each other. We were very happy with each other. However, just recently, things started going downhill; we quit talking--everything he said was full of "i'm better than you" ideas. He enjoys talking to me about things i dont understand/care about (video games, etc). He stopped supporting me and would flake out on things that were very important to me. He apologizes over and over, and swears that he is committed and loves me. I feel underappreciated at times but still feel like we both want to be in this together.

To make matters worse, I met up with another guy about a year ago who seems to fill the holes that my boyfriend is leaving out. About a month ago, this guy and I made out and it has been continually happening every so often.

I don't really know what I'm asking here, but I am basically wondering what kind of things you and your boyfriend do to keep your communication with each other alive; I want to get rid of this other guy and be specifically with my current boyfriend--how can we improve our commitment to each other with our communication skills?

Mack Says:
First off, getting rid of that other guy would be the best thing to do (that is, if you want to keep things going with your BF now) if you don't want your BF then you should break up with him. there obviously has to be the commitment from both sides, and right now you're not providing that by seeing another boy. You need to choose which is more important to you, i know this new guy is exciting and seems to have it all- but really look at the situation. figure out what he really has to offer you, if it is a lot of really awesome stuff, maybe try things out with him for real. then again, once the sneaking around is done- it might loose its excitement. The only way to make communication better- is to practice it. Don't let him shut you down, or make you feel small and stupid. Don't let it be okay that he is leaving you hanging at an important event. Tell him how you feel, let him know the distance you're feeling as well. Perhaps taking a break- just so you can both appreciate eachother more would be a good idea. relationships are never totally amazing. sometimes things really suck and it is all about how you work it out together! Talk to him, make him listen and respond and tell you how he is feeling. if he can't do this- i suggest you take a break.

Full plate:
So, this year I am a senior in High School and i've always heard everyone say it is the most fun year of your life! Try the busiest year of your life! I am taking AP classes, volunteering, trying to find a job, trying to get along with my family, and be a good friend. I have so much to do, it is rediculous but I'm not really stressed at all. I am just completely unmotivated. I have been procrastinating everything, especially my homework, which is not me at all! I have so much college stuff to do because I cannot decide where I want to go for the life of me! I finally figured out what I want to do but unfortunately not that many colleges offer my major, which is a little frustrating. Even though I am so excited about this year and college I just cannot seem to get motivated to do anything. I would rather sit around and read or sleep than do anything productive. On top of that I am seriously trying to lose weight. I have been for years now. I don't know what it is but I just can't seem to stick to anything. I suffered from depression for a long time and I haven't "relapsed" in a really long time and I am really excited about that. But I am really confused lately. I am not sad, in the least bit, but sometimes I just feel like crying. Some days I don't want to be around people and then some days I feel like I have to be surrounded by them. Which are some of my symptoms of when I was depressed. It is like I am depressed without actually being sad, it is so strange. I have also been questioning my morals lately. I have always felt really strongly on where I stand when it comes to morals but lately I just keep thinking about it and questioning it. And I can't really even say why, it just keeps popping into my head. On top of that sophomore year I had totally fallen for this guy and we dated but it didn't work out. We just weren't right for each other and I think we both knew it but we kept getting back together a few times. I have completely moved on from him but he just treated me so horribly in the end it made me kind of lose my faith in guys. I figured that none would ever like me because of the way I look blah, blah, blah. I find myself trying to flirt with my guy friends just to see if they will flirt back and I hate when I do it! I just feel like the one year when I need everything to be coming together, everything is falling apart. I am unmotivated and confused and scared. And I just don't know the next step to fix all of that. I know it was kind of a million questions in one but I just sort of spilled out everything. An answer on your blog or just an e-mail back, would be great. thank you so much.

Mack Says:
You have a lot going on in your life, which is normal for a senior in high school. It can be so hard to be motivated and to get things moving. trust me, i know this too haha. It is a really scary transition- from high school to college. You have a lot to do, and sometimes it is just easier to not do it, then it all piles up which makes it harder, which just makes you want to leave it even more. Here is how i would look at it (i have to do this when i clean my room because i hate it so much) if you don't start (cleaning) or working things out now, its only going to be harder and (messier) later. you can either even out the work load and do a little each day or take it on all at once- which will really suck. you just have to clear your head of all the distractions and sit down and do it! it is hard, but i know you can if you really make yourself. after all that schooling, you're so close to the end!! make it work. as far as depression goes, maybe seeing a professional would be benificial to you- when i had a lot going on in highschool i did that. i can really relate to how you're feeling, and sometimes just getting it out there helps a lot. all of the things you asked me about are just about commitment to yourself, and making things happen. all of this stuff is a choice, they are choices you are making for yourself. if you don't like them- you and only you have the power to change them.

"when i grow up":
Hey Mackenzie, I also want to be an actress but I'm always having trouble with my family accepting it or being supportive. I live close to LA and I'm moving there soon. I was wondering what you are doing to get started out there? Do you have an agent or anything yet or a way to get auditions? And who did your headshots and how did you find them? I think they are incredible. I have a lady I think I'm going to use, but I was curious about the photographer you used.

Do you ever get discouraged since it is such a difficult business to be successful in? I want it so badly that I'm still trying, but I get SO discouraged and overwhelmed at times...
Sorry for all the questions, I truly look up too you! And I think what you do on your blog is amazing!

Mack Says:
Of course i get discouraged! haha thats all a part of this place. It is okay to be bummed, or to get rejected (and if you can't handle that acting isn't for you). But i would say to go to an acting school, look online. That is the ultimate tool- it shows you everything. I mean there is no way that (well not for most.. maybe 1%) you can just jump in and make it without any training or knowledge of the craft (high school drama class doesn't count..sorry) . Learn it, make a commitment and just go for it. My family was not too hot on the idea of me not attending college either but i think its about following your heart. you know what is right for you. it might change down the road- but school is always there! My advice would be to look for acting schools and then go from there. don't go looking for an agent yet (without experience) how i look at it is that i don't want to audition until i feel like i have something REAL to offer. Have something to present, something to be proud of and learn your craft- and you will be fine.

Stubborn Lady:
in march i had a fling with a guy i really liked and enjoyed spending time with. it lasted longer than it has with other guys and we got on really well. one day he just stopped talking to me, and about 2 weeks later i confronted him. it didn;t end too well, and i used a bad choice of words which has stopped us talking ever since. it has left the relation between us very awkward and we NEVER speak. i have never stopped thinking about him and the other night when i got drunk, i ended up texting him. he replied the next morning wondering if the text was really meant for him, he remained the same nice guy id always known.
i really really would love to let him know how i feel but i fear rejection. i can't just tell him i like him and im too stubborn to talk to him, i don't necessarily want him to get flattery from me liking him if he doesn't feel the same.

im always thinking of him, daydreaming etc.. im always thinking of opportunities to see him in person

can you help?

Mack Says:
Relationships are all about taking risks. You have to put your heart on the line, all of your feelings forward. you can hold it all back and then expect things to fall into place. in order or "reward" to take place there has to be "risk". sometimes you'll fail, you'll be sad but life goes on. what is the worst that will happen? you say you never talk, things suck between you two etc. so what do you have to lose? swallow your pride/ego and take a risk. if he doesn't like you back then you're just in the same spot- only then you would know that its okay to move on and stop day dreaming. if he likes you too- then you'll be happy. don't let your ego get in the way of showing someone how you feel. rejection is normal, heart break is normal. its going to happen someday whether you like it or not.

Trash flavored Trash!:
Im sorry about your mother, i don't really know the situation though. sorry.
i have you on my myspace and i was wondering if you could help me! I live with my boyfriend, his best friend, and his best friends girlfriend. our 2 roomates are weird and gross and trash everything. he keeps saying that he will do something about it but the way i see it, he never will. they have all been friends for MANY years and we've only been together about a year. when i mived in they already lived here 2 years. How can i explain to my bofriend, without hearing him say that its too bad or having him comapre me to them and see us as equal, that i can't stand them and it makes me miserable to be in this house!?

Mack Says:
Your boyfriend as well as your roomates need to respect you and how you feel. There should be no comparison between you and his friends either- you're totally different and your relationships should be seperate. Tell him what you think, how you feel about his friends- if he doesn't want to do anything about it then i think you should move out. i have always thought that moving in with your bf or gf too soon was a deal breaker, nothing is your own. so maybe looking for new places to live with maybe your best friend? would be a good solution.

Abusive relationship:
so, i was dating this boy for about two years. things were great the first few months like in every relationship, but then after that he started getting emotionally abusive with me. he made me believe that i was basically the scum of the earth. he would always ask me to change myself. he'd order me to lose weight, or he wasn't going to be happy. (i'm only 104 pounds and i'm 5'4!) he'd order me to not talk to my friends, he'd order me to not do the things i wanted to do. we would fight EVERY DAY and i would cry EVERY DAY. We'd break up every week, but i was stupid and i thought that i would do it to make him happy. but it was never good enough, no matter what i did. so he broke up with me a few weeks ago, and i cried that night. after that, i was the happiest i've ever been in my life. i'm not in denial or anything, i've accepted the fact that we're over and i'm happy about it. is that wrong?

i'm not angry, or sad about us being over. i'm angry and sad over what he made me feel. i hate him so much for what he did to me.

now, i have this thing with a perfect boy. he is so nice, and he is everything i deserve. i'm just afraid to be hurt so badly again, and i'm afraid to take the chance.

Mack Says:
First off- i think it is GREAT that you got out of that. i found this, and it might help you or other girls in the same situation
http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive.htm
that site has a lot of great info about abusive relationships. The best part though is that you saw that you were in a bad place and got out of it- so many girls don't do that. anyway on to this new boy, if you know he is perfect and wonderful and you trust in that- i think easing into the relationship would be smart. you have been through a lot- and it should not be expected of you to just jump right back into things like that. you have every right to take it slow!! but also know- just because one boy hurt you, does not mean all boys are like that. ease yourself back into trusting people. talk to a professional so you can recover from that!! i wish you luck and again i am so happy that you got out of that relationship!!

Prep School:
ok so i just moved down here from northern cali so i was brand new and didnt know anybody and i was turning in job applications and met this guy that worked there but we didnt say anything but somehow that night we found eachother on myspace and i said hi to him and he asked if i knew him and i said i met him at his work and he was allll sweet and was like ohhh yea i was hoping you would talk to me your gorgeous lets hang out sometime outside of my work so he got my number and called me that friday and asked to take me to sushi on saturday. he picked me up and we went and then went to the movies and the whole time he was suuuch a gentlemen and im not usually into that but i was with him. he kissed me all night and was amazing to me all night then took me home and we ended up having sex.!! and im not like that at all he was my second guy but for some reason with him i didnt care. we talked when he got home and he told me that he did have a past with hooking up with alot of girls just for a one night stand and i asked if i was one and he said no he wont even exchange numbers with the ones he just sleeps with or spend any money on them so i felt fine,. he came and saw me the next day and told me not to get attached because he was leaving for military school in 3 days!!! it was horrible. i wasnt attached to him but i was pretty into him and especially after having sex with someone, it attaches you emotionally. he left for military school and he told me he couldnt talk much but they would let him talk on the phone every once in a while. well i saw that he was able to get on myspace every once in a while so i messaged him and for the next month we messaged like 1 or 2 times a week and it was nice. nothing like omg how cute but it was nice and we talked about seeing eachother when he came to visit.(its not military school to be in the military, its a college prep school for his senior year). he randomly called me one night then texted me and was being soooooooooo sweet telling me how much he missed me and he cant wait to see me and hang out with me but he kept saying he cant wait to fuck me either haha. i didnt know how to take that but i mean they are there with just guys for a full year so that has to be hard for them. after that night of texting me that he stopped texting me and i have tried to text him and he hasnt texted back but idk their schedule. idk if he even has his phone still because that was just soooo weird how he had his phone that night. i sent him a message on myspace and he never responded. idk what to do. ughhh. some people keep saying just be straight up with him and blunt with him and ask him whats up but i dont want to because its not like im a priority of his since we only hung out a couple times before he left. what would you do?
wow thats a long story haha. but im getting mixed signals so idk what to do

Mack Says:
wow haha thats a lot to take in! I can see how you would feel emotionally attached to him! that is so normal when you have sex with someone... but you said people are telling you how you should be towards him and i have to say that i agree when it comes to confronting him. You may have had a short relationship so to speak, but it was clearly taken to a serious level when you hooked up with him- therefore i think you deserve to know wtf is going on! because you may be hoping for more than he is willing to give. If that is true- then you can move on and he can have fun at school. Don't just sit around not knowing what is going on because if he comes home and things aren't how you expect, you're going to be upset that you didn't figure out what the deal was. good luck girl- do what you can and if it works thats awesome, if not thats okay too. you have an experience to learn from.

Some lovely ladies that i admire:




XOXO
Mackenzie
askmack.girltalk@yahoo.com