GIRL T@LK: 9!

Currently listening to: The Cure
Hey guys! Hope all is well, i'm so excited for the holidays. I get to go home to see my family and best best friends in IDAHO on sunday. Its been 3 months since i've seen them, and it feels like forever. Anyway here are your questions! Hope your holiday celebrations are wonderful. XO

3 is a crowd:
hey. i noticed that you give people good advice but im in a real pickle. and i know that you probably dont like nasty details but i feel like some information is honestly needed for you to give me a good answer.
i just realized that i fell pretty much head over heels in love with my best friend. he is kind of a man slut but i cant help it. i love everything about him. but we had sex and everything was fine. we were drunk when it happened but we have gotten drunk before and nothing has happened. the night after or 2 nights after we had sex we got really drunk again but this time with my best friend. we actually ended up having a 3 some. and i know it was fucking stupid of me but now its like really hard to talk to him and after the first time we had sex he was really cute with me and kissed me goodbye and was texting me kissy faces and said that he missed me and hearts and shit. now i have no clue what to do because i am seriously falling head over heels for him. this sucks. any words??

Mack Says:
Well based on what you have told me, I think it would be best to build an intimate and loving relationship without any substances like alcohol or drugs. I'm not here to judge you or the things that you like to do, but i do think it would be best that you didn't end up having drunken sex with him for a while- until perhaps you have established a relationship. As you have said, he is your best friend- therefore you have a strong relationship. Like i've told others before, honesty is the best policy. If hes having sex with you, and sending flirty texts; there is obviously something more there. The best thing you can do is be honest with him, tell him how you feel about him- chances are hes going to be honest with you as well. If he does feel the same, thats awesome- you guys can take it to the next level. If he doesn't feel the same, don't let it ruin your relationship, it will all pass- but then you know that getting drunk and taking things to that "level" probably isn't the best idea. Hope it all works out for you. If you have any more info about this situation and need more of an answer feel free to email me again. xo

A world apart:
hi mackenzie,
so, i am 18 and i never had a real relationship, i dated some guys, but none of it worked out. so, i am single and have a little crush on a guy who goes to school with me. we talk, we smile at each other and i know he likes me and i recognized that hes glancing at me sometimes...i often drive him home, thats the only time i really can talk to him. the main problem is that circle of friends is not really the same, so i have no chance to see him outside school...i invited him to do something with my friends once, but he had something else already planned, hum...well.
so i like him, but i have no idea how to show him that, except for smiling or looking at him. but i am really bad at this...and i cant just walk up to him and tell him that i like him...really, i am too shy for that :D
so you have any idea what i could do? i know it sounds stupid, but have been rejected for telling someone that i have a crush on him, so i dont think that i will ever do this again, except i know for sure that he likes me the same way i do.
so, help me ;)

Mack Says:
Well like you said, you know that he likes you. So that is a big indicator right there. I know rejection sucks, but its a huge part of life- You can't hide from any situation that might end in rejection or else you're going to lead a very sheltered and lonely life. Just because you asked him to hang out once, and he already had plans- does not mean that will happen every time. See if him and some of his friends want to see a movie, or get ice cream with you and some of your friends. Different groups of friends should not keep you apart. Go out on a limb here and make things happen. Talk to him when you're driving him home ask him to hang out again. Its okay if he has plans, just say "oh alright well we really need to get together, what day would work best for you?" hes not booked everyday for the rest of his life- but some planning might be required. I know in my personal life, i require a lot of planning- so its not a blow to your ego, just the truth. I think its better that he says he is busy, rather than giving you false hopes and then blowing you off. The guy likes you, take the chance, make then hanging out happen! Plan in advance and make sure you're not too worried about disappointment, its inevitable in this life. But to be totally cliche "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" so lame, but oh so true. xo

Make up:
Hey! Okay So I'm really bad at doing my makeup and I wondered if there were any tips or techniques that you had because your makeup is always gorgeous! Thanks so much. I love your blogs they help me a lot.

Mack Says:
Well thanks :] I get most of my make up from MAC. I like it the best. A good tip would be to go get your make up done once and let them know you're looking for an every day look not anything crazy. They can help you figure out what is best for your skin (dryness, oily, combination etc), skin color, hair and eye color etc. I use a tinted moisturizer, studio fix, blush and bronzer. for my eyes i use a black pencil for liner and blackest black mascara. I also fill in my eyebrows just a tad, because they are a little lighter than my hair color. hope that helps, if you need me to elaborate on this just let me know. xo

The difficulties of boys:
I'm not quite sure what I'm wanting or in search of. I was thinking about what advice I'm actually looking for and I think it's more of a a wanting to just be heard. When I moved down here it feels like a kinda lost connection with all my good friends so I haven't really had anyone to talk to except for Alex, but he's kind of distant when it comes to emotional comfort because of his family. He's very different from me. My mom and I have almost always gotten along; even when we were super mad at each other we could always get over it and still love each other. So when things started to get pretty rough with my parents Alex couldn't understand how I could still even talk to them, much less live in the same house as them. His mom has had cancer twice which I think has contributed to him really not liking and/or trusting his parents; they were always trying to push him to be the best and he was, but then something change and he decided that they weren't going to be a part of his life and they we nOt going to control his actions. He and I are just from very different backgrounds. For example; my little sister Celena has had to have three surgeries because of a shoulder/arm injury and that's been incredibly expensive and taxing on our family and because of that my family hasn't had money to put into a college fund for me. Alex just really doesn't get how they could do that to me and he resents them for that. I've come to realize he just doesn't like parents lol.
I hope I'm not the only one that thinks boys are difficult. I think I'm pretty smart but they just stump me sometimes wow lol. Alex is charming and its hilarious. He really can talk to any girl and get her attention lol and he knows. I dunno this is confusing. He wants a girl to be perfect; he wants me to be perfect and most the time he says that I am but he always points out the little things. Sometimes he says I'm not trying or acting like I'm 100% committed to our relationship, but I well I don't know what to do to like show him that I am. I don't see the opportunities I guess. And he says the reason the little things matter so much is because he wants this-us -to work more than anything. Hmm I don't know where I'm going with this lol. I think I just needed to empty my glass. I also think that I don't like the unexpected; I want to know what's coming and how to prepare for it. I want to know that everything will be alright, ya know?
Wow sorry mackenzie, I know that's alot and well thanks for just listening...reading lol. I hope you're having fun down in LA : ) oh and I was wondering like how are you living down there? Isn't it like crazy expensive to live by yourself? lol.

Mack says:
I understand the "needing to be heard" Its understandable that you're from different places and different families but in all honesty its not fair of him to not be there emotionally for you just because he has had a hard time in the past. I've also found that as far as relationships nobody is perfect, no relationship is perfect. It is about finding the imperfections that you can deal with in another person. whether its, breathing too loud, the way he dresses, how he only showers on tuesday- i don't know- little stupid things that might drive someone crazy, and then be just fine to someone else. We all have flaws, imperfections and annoying habits. He needs to love and accept you for who you are. He can't expect perfection. Living in LA is hard, really hard- but i think its important that regardless of what he says, you should keep your family close. I know things are tough, but they will always be there for you and love you unconditionally no matter what. Don't listen to his negativity. Things will look up soon, and i'm always here to listen when you just need to be heard. xo

About your sweater:
I started my second year of college in September and met a lovely boy who's my age but the year below me (he dropped out last year). I'm 18 and he's 18 in May. Now at the start, I thought he was intriguing because of the sweater he was wearing, and so I added him on myspace. Now we've become really, really good friends, and I see him every day, spend all day with him and I've completely, totally fallen for him. And I know he likes me too, he says stuff like how beautiful I am and how much he loves spending time with me. The only problem is, he's got a girlfriend, who he's been seeing for 7 months. And he loves her too, but says he wants to end things with her because he doesn't love her in that way anymore. He says he is too scared to do it. He also says stuff like nothing could happen between me and him because we're friends, and then the next day he says things like he can't stop thinking about me or whatever. I really don't know what to do because it's actually hurting me inside to think that I can't have him, I know I should try and get over him but I really can't.
I just don't know what to do.
Cheers Mackenzie, you're a star. xxxxxxxxxx

Mack Says:
He is obviously very conflicted, but it isn't fair for you to have to wait around for him to make up his mind. He doesn't get to have a girlfriend and then a great girl on the side too. Let him know you really have feelings for him, but that you're not going to just wait around till he decides he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore. I don't think its good to be hanging out with him all day either- i know you really like this guy, and thats normal. But just think about his girlfriend, it really isn't fair to her. I would be careful getting involved with a guy who would spill his feelings for another girl and spend so much time with her, while he has a long term girlfriend. If he does it to her, there is no garuntee that he wont do it to you too. You just need to have a serious talk with him, tell him whats up and decide if this is all worth it. xo

The ex-files:
Okay so me and my ex broke up like 2 months ago and idk. he has this absolute grudge against me and he calls me a "slutty bitch" and i wasn't even the one who broke it off, he was. he got mad because i hung out with this one guy like 2 weeks after we broke up and idk. it doesn't even make sense. but now its like idk. a couple of these other guys like me and they're nice guys. i should want to like them to or to want to hang out with them. but the idea of it repulses me and all i can think about is my ex and its horrible. he was the first guy i ever got sexual with and now i cant even think about doing that with other guys. i flirt with them and everything, but i still miss my ex so much. it's so stupid but i need ideas on how to get over him and be able to move on to other guys? idk if that makes any sense.

Mack Says:
Are you sure that you don't want to be with him anymore? I guess my question would be why are you broken up in the first place? You can't let the petty things he says get to you. Guys are very immature like that. I would evaluate your relationship with your ex and figure out if things could ever work again. If the answer to that is no, then you just need to stop talking to him or having any contact with him at all. Its okay if you're not ready to have sex with other guys, that is not expected of you. I would say to just date other guys, get to know them and wait on the whole sex thing. that will come with time.
xo

ALRIGHT thats all the questions for this issue I'll be talking to all of you soon. Merry Christmas xoxo

GIRL T@LK:8<3

Currently listening to: Does it offend you, yeah?
Okay here is the 8th issue of Girl T@LK! and i'm excited.
Cali has been depressing but whateverr. i've made some new friends and its really nice. I guess i'm going to a Li Cari event and i'm excited about that too, i'll post pictures if i get any sweet ones later. anyway on to your questions, i love you guys !
PS- I'm in such a sassy mood tonight, so if anything i say comes off as harsh or insensitive i apologize but its how i'm feeling. So if you can't stand the heat get outta the kitchen. PS maybe take a glance at other GIRL T@LKS before you ask stuff, i get lots and lots the same questions. oh well still love you. and keep sending stuff
askmack.girltalk@yahoo.com
xo

Boys boys boys:
So recently the guy i was in love with decided to just start ignoring me. Now me and him have been going on and off for about 3 years and the reason i kept on giving him chances and he kept giving me chances was because we both loved each other. But now..it seems its all turned over. His friends dont really like me for some reason and thats kind of been a problem also. We went out about 5 weeks ago for like a week and we broke up because he wouldnt act like we were going out at school. But of course after that he apoligized and i still gave him another chance. But about 2 weeks after that he just stopped talking to me..wouldnt reply to my texts, calls, nothing. So tahts when i started breaking down..i mean this was the guy i loved just leaving me. So for about a week after that i was miserable. I decided to call him and ask him why he's been doing this and he said that he didnt even have a reason for ignoring me. So i dont know what to think anymore. We arent talking anymore but i still just want to know why he's been doing this. I have to get over him. But its just so hard. I loved him so much and he hurt me so bad but i still cant get over him. I would do anything just to even be friends with him but it just seems like its not worth it anymore.

Mack Says:
Well, i didn't see much of a question here- so i'll give you my insight. First off, when you love someone you don't ignore them, you're not swayed by peer pressure or childish impulses like pretending you're not dating. He is obviously immature and needs to grow up a little. I know this all sounds harsh, but its the truth. Yeah, i understand you really cared about him, but wtf is his problem? Don't let a guy play games with you like that, his chances are up and there isn't any reason to go back to that BS. Be a strong, self respecting girl and find a guy that can dig that. There are plenty out there.

Burn in hell?:
So pretty much.. I know I did something wrong. Long story short was that about a year ago I met this guy. We talked and what not. We met through a friend which i met online. I know sounds cheesy but I was starting to really like this guy. And He started to like me too. He actually thought I was someone else. The year went by and we called me his girlfriend. and Yeah it was pretty much a online relationship. Little did he know I was i live in the same stated and city as him. But he thought something else. But anyways I kept the secret from him for about a year! and Then I couldnt take it anymore and i finally told him the truth. At first he was like I just show yourself I love you no matter what. That was all a lie cause when i was walking down the street to go see him. He just laughed and drove off. Yeah I know i did soemthing very wrong. But i couldnt help it. They way he made me feel. Last words he said to me were I hope you get hit by a bus and burn to hell. I know he doenst mean that its just out of anger. But its been two months since that all happen. And im trying so hard to get over him and its not working there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think of him. I dont know if i should just tell him who i really am. And have my life hated and make my high school experience done with. Or what. Im lost. Confuse. I want him back. I think i lost my chance becasue all the times he ran after me and the one time i had to run after him i didnt..

Mack Says:
I think you've answered your own question. You know in your heart what the right thing to do is- so i suggest you do it. Why are you so afraid of him seeing you? I mean unless you used some fake photos or something, he knows what you look like. See him in person, an internet relationship is a little strange and i would assume not very satisfying. If he is half the man he says he is, he will care for you exactly the same. If he doesn't, then he is not worth it. He clearly cares and really wants to meet you in person, so why not give it a shot? Where are things going to go if you don't? You have nothing to lose.

Michael Cera?:
Ok so I have been friends with this guy for a year or so now and he's just a great guy friend. He'd always get excited to see me and talk to me at school and outside of school and I'd go see his his little indie band play... that's actually how we became friends because he played at a venue I work at. He's fun and I love his personality and taste in music. I think he liked me for a while and I had a boyfriend over the summer so we didn't really talk much. But now since school started we've been talking like usual and I broke up with my boyfriend like a couple weeks ago but I don't know if he knows? and he was talking about this other girl who goes to our school... so I'm guessing he likes her, but you know when it hits you that you really like someone? well... that happened to me, even though I always have a little bit. I compare him to my ex's and he's so much better. we have the same sense of humor (which is a biggie for me...) and he's cute and I
love how he's akward but it's funny... idk how to explain it. He plays like every instrument and has a passion for music and I love it. He's like a cute indie boy... haha. anyways. For the past couple weeks he hasn't really even said hi to me in the halls and he doesn't come up and talk to me anymore and act cute and the way I love... I don't know what's wrong and I don't think I did anything? It just makes me really upset because I miss him so much and it's made my last couple weeks kinda sad because I don't want to lose him as a friend... and I like him and I'm so bad with timing... like I wasted my time with my ex when he was there infront of me the whole time and I think he's moved on... but why is he not talking to me now? I don't know what's wrong it's just not the same... and I don't know what to do... because I don't see him now to stop him and talk to him... I just want to know why it's changed all of a sudden.

Mack Says:
As you can see from the title, thats how i'm picturing this guy and i don't know why. But on to the point- you like this guy... so go for him. Seriously! He is probably just feeling conflicted, tell him you and your bf broke up- that you are madly in love with him (maybe not those exact words..) and get on with it. I don't think hes going to reject you, you've had a history and are great friends. Just step outside of your box and say hi to him, let him know that you care. That will go a long way. Follow your heart, and be 100% honest, that is the best thing i can think of.

Older Men:
please help!

my boyfriend is two years older than i am.
we've been dating for almost 9 months now.
well, he'll be graduating this year, but i'll still have two more years of high school left.
i'm worried about how things will be once he graduates.
i'm worried we wont see each other as much,
and that things wont end up working out.

how did you and your boyfriend make it work?

Mack Says:
Well, every relationship is different. I've answered quite a few questions close to this one. I think its always nice to see that other people are in the same boat as us, i would recommend looking at some past GIRL T@LKS too. Anyway, you've got 2 more years period. There isn't anything you can do to change that (except graduate early... which is not smart every girl i know that has done that loses their friends and is way too obsessed with their bfs) ANYWAY. Enjoy highschool, its the only time you'll ever EVER have it. You think you hate it, but then you get out and move away- you will miss it- at least a little. Its such an easy time in live (no matter what any highschooler thinks now) so yeah, don't worry about the future so much. What is going to happen, will happen regardless of your efforts. My advice, have a strong caring honest loving true REAL relationship and you'll be fine. 2 years is a while, so sit tight and enjoy the ride.

xo on my mind/blog
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me tor and her puppycake